Kamis, 30 Juni 2011

Driver sets new record for fastest lap around Manhattan

By Matt Hardigree

Driver sets new record for fastest lap around Manhattan

Driver sets new record for fastest lap around ManhattanUPDATE! When illicit speed racer Alex Roy circled the Island of Manhattan in 2001 he set the known record for fastest time at 27 minutes while reaching speeds of 144 mph over the 24.48 mile distance. For legal reasons, he never released the tape. A new driver's now done it in 26:03. Here's the video.

The video below purports to be from the Corporate Broadcasting Company, which is some sort of anonymous quasi-anarchist global collective dedicated to "IDEAS MEDIA PEOPLE."

Driver sets new record for fastest lap around Manhattan They open their attempt by paying homage to "the great Alex Roy" and his record-breaking Manhattan run, as well as his record-breaking Transcontinental Run. Also, symbolically, Claude Lelouch's C'etait un Rendezvous, which infamously recorded the director's illegal run through the streets of Paris one morning.

Though they've chosen to remain anonymous, they've shared numerous details about their journey. They can be seen driving a Saturn Sky convertible.

Driver sets new record for fastest lap around ManhattanThe mysterious CBC videographers also explain the trip starts at the Staten Island Ferry Terminal at the tip of the island, up the FDR, across the GW Bridge Interchange and down the Henry Hudson to once again emerge on the other side of the Battery Park Tunnel.

Total time for the journey is an amazing 26:03 over 24.48 miles, which means an average of about 56 mph — impressive when you consider stops for lights — many, many lights.

We've asked Roy, as the expert on going fast on public streets, and now, seemingly, as the past record holder, to respond to this footage. He has not yet gotten back to us — but we'll likely hear from him shortly. (Hat tip to Edward!)

UPDATE: Since posting the video, we've now received the following manifestoish missive from the CBC:

How:
Three weeks were spent on surveillance and test runs. There were six attempts at breaking the record but each time, there was some sort of delay, whether it was construction or just too many cars on the road. Eventually we learned that Monday nights seemed to be the safest, as there were the least amount of cars on the road.

When:
A Monday night early in the summer of 2010.

Why:
There really wasn't any reason not to. We are smart, strategic, and responsible individuals who are entirely capable of doing something like this in as safe a manner as possible.

Driving Experience:
Driving is much more than a mode of transportation. It is an act that brings human and machine together. We'd like to include a quote from Will Wright, the creator of The Sims, during an interview about his participation in the US Express, "A lot of times we put this boundary around us - this is me, and these are my tools… but when you're driving, or racing especially, that boundary blurs and you become one. You start thinking of the car as your body".

Who:
We are the Corporate Broadcasting Corporation. Here is an excerpt from the "Manifesto Besto" that begins to summarize our philosophy.

"The races: black, white, Asian, Mermaid, and all the others are not the least bit important. The mindsets: the Republican Party, the Communist Party, the Fascist Party, the Lemon Party, none of these classifications are nearly as important as the one that covers us all. We are all human, each and every one of us. Unfortunately when we fall too deeply into one of the aforementioned categories we forget that we are only human, and our missions begin to become counterproductive, meaningless, and trivial –we lose sight of the bigger picture."

We do not yet wish to reveal any more but we would like to remind you all that you are all human, and you are all a part of the CBC.

UPDATE 2: We received the following statement from Alex Roy:

"Records were meant to be broken. Certain feats require something other than a brute force approach, which is what differentiates hooning from stunts. Passion is merely the beginning. Safety, planning and professionalism get you to the finish. FYI, I'll be staying off the FDR early weekday mornings!"


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Rabu, 29 Juni 2011

This is the worst car crash story ever

By Matt Hardigree

This is the worst car crash story ever

This is the worst car crash story everA driver smashed full-speed into a man working on his disabled car on the side of a Houston road this morning. And that is the least disturbing part of this story.

Prepare yourself for the story of the worst car accident ever.

The Mazda 626 pictured above was being driven by 49-year-old James John Onak along Interstate 45 slightly after midnight this morning when he struck a man on the side of the road who appears to have abandoned his broke-down Explorer. The unnamed pedestrian was described as being in his 30s and wearing a Subway sandwich shop uniform.

It was such a strong impact that the pedestrian's leg was left at the scene.

That wasn't the worst part of the story.

The rest of the body became lodged partially in the passenger's seat and partially in the windshield.

But even that horrific image now seared forever into our heads wasn't the worst part.

No, the worst part is the driver continued to drive for two miles until a constable pulled him over and discovered the body in the car.

According to The Houston Chronicle:

Police said the driver told the deputy he had hit something on the freeway and that he didn't know the victim was in the passenger seat beside him.

The man died at the scene and the driver has been charged with failure to render aid and tampering with evidence. Police are also running DWI tests and suspect drinking was involved.

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Selasa, 28 Juni 2011

Remember when car ads had balls?

By Ray Wert

Remember when car ads had balls?

Remember when car ads had balls?While skimming GM's archives I came across this 1954 marketing pamphlet called "The Cold Facts." The leaflet, unlike today's milquetoast, middling marketing materials, actually takes a hard swing against Ford trucks. Whatever happened to auto advertising with balls?

Seriously, you read this ad pamphlet and it's not only chock-full-o'-nuggets of awesome ad analogies — "Like ice out of the icebox... Ford advertising claims melt fast!" — it also goes right after specific, tested claims Ford makes about their trucks:

"We saw that when checking Ford's V8 with an advertised gross horsepower of 130 that the highest horsepower reading Chevrolet engineers could get was 113."

and

"Chevrolet's more effective transmission and rear axle ratios... provide distinct and outstanding advantages in rim pull... as much as 17% more in second gear with standard rear axles."

and

"Ford's 6 can't compare with Chevrolet's Thriftmaster 235 engine... providing as much as 628 pounds more rim pull than Ford."

Hell, Chevy even makes up new — albeit completely ludicrous — metrics, attacking Ford truck engines as being heat inefficient:

"It has been estimated that the extra heat lost by a Ford V-8 engine is sufficient to heat two 5-room homes in 20-degree weather."

I don't even understand why that's relevant, but it's ballsy nonetheless.

Why doesn't GM still have a "Cold, Hard Facts" brochure attacking Ford trucks? Why doesn't Ford have a brochure called "The Real Muscle Man" attacking the Chevy Camaro? Why doesn't Hyundai have a brochure called "Our Scary Awesome Efficient Engines" that attacks friggin' every automaker? Why doesn't Chrysler have a brochure called... umm... "The Jeep Wrangler's Still Good"? OK, so maybe Chrysler shouldn't have one — but every other automaker should.

It's not to say all of today's car ads are meek. Some aren't. I'm seeing some signs of life in auto advertising — Nissan Leaf ads are attacking the Volt. Howie Long went after the Ford F-150's "Man Step". But both ads seemed rather silly, mostly because they were doing it wrong, attacking vehicles for having features they themselves didn't have.

Instead, automakers should attack using the numbers, differences and features they're most confident in — and use them offensively. Chevy should be taking Ford out to the woodshed over PickupTrucks.com and its "Rumble in the Rockies" from late last year. I've heard next to nothing on it. Why?

Confident women and men are sexy. The same is true of confident automakers — it's a great sales tool. Especially in a world where every automaker is building increasingly better products, the minor differences are going to become major selling points. But only if automakers have the confidence — and the balls — to call out where they're better.

It's past time for carmakers to drop their testes from the Carpocalypse-scarred torso they've been hiding in and give us some good ol' fashioned mudslinging.

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Senin, 27 Juni 2011

Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fans

By Ray Wert

Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fans

Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fansFans of Jalopnik and Bill Caswell, our indomitable Hollywood-bound $500 Craigslist rally car driver, decided yet again not to listen to our pleas against hacking electronic road signs, hacking a sign at this weekend's Pikes Peak race.

The day after we re-ran our "How to hack electronic road signs" story from two years ago, we're starting to again see defenseless road signs hacked.

And not just in places like Pikes Peak. Even good, wholesome, fish-farming communities like the St. John's area in Newfoundland, Canada are unable to hide from the hordes of zombie-warning road sign attackers.

Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fans They had their own zombie encounter this weekend.

"Zombie invasion! Run!" said one of the messages that appeared on an electronic traffic sign positioned near Windsor Lake, one of the main water supplies in St. John's.

The sign, which had been expected to advise motorists of construction that started Monday, had been programmed with other messages, including "Expect apocalyptic doom!"

A final message said, "Rule #2: Double tap!", a line from the 2009 Woody Harrelson comedy "Zombieland."

Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fansSee, this is precisely why we can't have nice things.

Again, we beg of you, our beloved Jalopnik readers, please don't hack into road signs using the instructions below. Also, please don't write "Jalopnik Rules!" Also, also, please don't take pictures and send them in to us here.

Here's a look back at the history of highway road sign hacking:


Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fansHow to hack electronic road signs

DO NOT under any circumstances run around hacking into electronic road signs using the information contained in this step-by-step guide of how to transmit hilarious messages to passing motorists. More »


Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fansJalopnik-Hacked Road Sign: We're All Going To Jail Now

We told you guys not to hack electronic road signs to say "Jalopnik Rules." But you went ahead and did it anyway. You do know this is why we can't have nice things, right? More »


Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fansHacked Electronic Road Sign Mega-Gallery

Since we first showed you the "How To Hack An Electronic Road Sign" guide, the proliferation of hacked signs has become so widespread we had to compile this gallery of all of them. More »


Pikes Peak electronic road sign hacked by Jalopnik fansHacked road signs warn of hunters, zombies and tanks

We're running out of ways to tell you NOT to hack electronic road signs, but after some recent unpleasantness we're grateful the quality's going up. South Carolina has hunters, zombies, and tanks… oh my! More »


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